Reasons NOT to send me that email!!!

I found this online and couldn't resist passing it on!!!

11. I eat puppies, kittens, and other cute animals, and sending me pictures of them only makes me hungry for more. 10. I've been on the Internet forever and have already seen/heard/smelled whatever you're sending before. 9. You'd like me to remain your friend. 8. I don't care if the kid dies from cancer. 7. I have a sense of humor and that joke isn't remotely funny. 6. If you forward that message to ten of your friends then a unicorn dies. 5. You'll prove once and for all that I'm smarter than you. 4. I am actually hoping to get robbed/mugged/carjacked. 3. If I wanted to see pictures of babies, I'd buy an Anne Geddes book. 2. If it doesn't have to do with making my penis bigger then I don't want it in my Inbox. 1. Bill Gates already sent me my free Xbox, $1000, and tickets to Disney. I don't want to be greedy.